A blog based on Dylan's life with photographs and documents, and The Columbine High School Massacre that took place in Littleton, Colorado, 1999. Dylan was very sensitive, a depressed young man who just needed acceptance and someone to understand him. He never got that, and others payed, his wrath killed many. He could've got help, it's far too late.
Dylan had the innocence of a child, a vulnerable mind clouded by depression and teenage angst. The beauty of it, is that he had the intelligence of a pure genius; his writing/poetry was absolutely beautiful and thought-provoking. The words flowed on the paper and it was the only place he could fluently express the conflict that tore at his head and wonderful heart. He grew so tired, but all the time he was strong. He wasn’t aware of his true abilities, they were unseen and he was of course, invisible. That’s exactly how he described his existence; non-existent.
He could not pull out of this hole, he wanted to be free. Seeking out love and affection he so dearly craved- To be noticed. That void he sought out to fill; Desperately grasping and attempting to find it through this girl, so badly he wanted it. Delusions, they grew. The thought of her, it was all he ever wanted, all the happiness that was never there.. he saw a chance of it in her. To be his muse, but it failed. It was not right, nor was it ever. “FAILURE! FAILURE!” He felt himself being cornered. “ALONE.” The self-hatred grew stronger inside him and he hid, suppressed it all. Turning the sorrow into pure hatred against the world. All along he was at a war with himself - That beautiful mind twisted up and flipped into something unknown, it had been festering for so long, it was at its peek.
Confiding in someone much angrier than he, he became someone else, and his mania falling into the downward spiral. All he wanted was happiness, his child-like nature was suppressed and the disappointment scarred his ability to ever find another way. The wrath was only against his mind. Dylan was at a battle, the one many know too well. Such a wonderful mind can be such a dangerous thing.
Dylan’s purpose was to inspire one to not give up. Identifying with this young man does not make one a bad person. It can be used to help yourself. His story has made me stronger and I have become happy again. I will always have my heart out for Dylan though I do not post as much, I got over this stage of depression and am becoming a happier person and finding what I want in my life. Never give up on yourself, only YOU can depend on yourself to win this war.
Tonight I really miss Dylan and wonder where his soul is wandering right now, and if he’s sitting in that place in the sky looking over the world.
Or rather shallow existences compared to mine (maybe) like ignorance = bliss. They don’t know beyond this world (how I do in my mind or in reality or in this existence) yet we each are lacking something that the other possesses – I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned & they lack the overdeveloped mind/imagination/knowledge too
Marilyn Manson Feature (Quite a long article that I wrote in college so there is a read more thingy)